So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I didn't notice because vodka
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
