No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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