I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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