erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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