I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize