I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
