We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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