her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
