We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
