Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
