I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
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It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
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put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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