I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
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Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
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Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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