There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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