Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Found your dick twin last night
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
So vagazzling was a success
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
