Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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