Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
