Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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