just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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