Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
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For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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