Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
