Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
