Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Randomize
