If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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