so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I fill condoms, not promises.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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