Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
