Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
