Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
