winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize