he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
