Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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