I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
3pm strippers are depressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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