Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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