i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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