A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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