when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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