I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
