hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
