No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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