yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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