i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
