another moral hangover. fuck.
I look better un-naked...
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
