It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
