I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
