i just wanna soil my oats bro
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i dont even know how to be here
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
