What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
