I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
