home. puking in laundry basket.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Life without a bra equals bliss.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
