Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease