i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up