i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.