Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
