everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
