ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Randomize
