He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
