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• (225): View more from Louisiana

  Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!

  (1-225): View more from Louisiana

  Wtf?

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Use the slutty part of ur brain.

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.

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• (254): View more from Texas

  Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.

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• (310): View more from California

  It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.

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• (914): View more from New York

  My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?

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• (408): View more from California

  Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.

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• (585): View more from New York

  I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright

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• (210): View more from Texas

  I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.

  (302): View more from Delaware

  i can't wait.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?

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• (916): View more from California

  hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.

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