You're so nebulous sometimes
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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