I got her a Nickelback box set.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
