Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
