Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
