I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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