it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
