scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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