Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
