Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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