Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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