dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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