she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
