i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
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