What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Randomize
