I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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