Grow some girl-balls and come out already
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
