i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
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