Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
