Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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