yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
