Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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